partybarackisinthehousetonight:
this trashcan ain’t big enough for the two of us
i’ll take my chance with aliens before i mess w/ whatever is at the bottom of the ocean
me: has a breakdown
me: gets super embarrassed about it the second I calm down
I had an ex boyfriend threaten to publish my nudes when we broke up, so I published them myself with his threatening messages and tagged all his friends, relatives and potential new girlfriends. I think the boy still has whiplash from that plot twist.
whats obama’s last name
when your child comes to you and says “this is something that makes me uncomfortable and unhappy and makes me not want to spend time with you” and you respond with a 20 minute speech that boils down to “deal with it because life sucks” you have no respect for your child and you need to change your parenting tactics
my dad plays badminton with other dads and I told him to start a club called ‘dadminton’ and he let out the most fatherly chortle
have you ever found a line in a book or song that resonates in your bones and you just want to paint it on your walls and tattoo it across every inch of your body
*planet explodes* *removes one earbud* what
"It’s hard when you constantly feel so fucking unwanted."
parents: i want the truth
me: *tells truth*
parents: nope youre lying wrong answer
